---
title: Eleni Kelakos on Igniting Your Charismatic Presence and Magnetising New Clients
description: Eleni Kelakos shows how embracing nerves can unlock true charisma and confidence in speaking, inspiring authentic connection and personal growth
author: Dr Marina Nani (Editor-in-Chief)
date: 2025-06-26T20:12:19.000Z
updated: 2026-06-29T08:43:32.379Z
canonical: https://richwoman.co/article/eleni-kelakos-on-igniting-your-charismatic-presence-and-magnetising-new-clients
image: https://cdn.nanimediahouse.com/hardcover-book-mockup-1200x900-1.webp
categories: Self-Development
content_type: Feature
region: Global
publication: Rich Books
---

[https://www.youtube.com/embed/0kagRxo-HlI?feature=oembed](https://www.youtube.com/embed/0kagRxo-HlI?feature=oembed)

The curtain’s about to rise, and your heart pounds so hard you’re convinced everyone in the theatre can hear it. Your hands shake as you check your microphone one last time. The audience chatter beyond the stage sounds like a roar. Even seasoned performers who’ve graced New York stages and Hollywood sets know this feeling intimately – that moment when terror and excitement collide just before you step into the spotlight.

Eleni Kelakos knows that feeling better than most. After years as a professional actor and singer-songwriter, working in entertainment’s most demanding arenas, she still gets butterflies before speaking. The difference? She’s learned to work with that nervous energy rather than against it. She’s discovered that the very fears that make our voices tremble can become our greatest strengths when we know how to work with them.

This revelation isn’t just for people who dream of Broadway stages. Research shows that [approximately 75% of people experience fear of public speaking](https://www.supportivecareaba.com/statistics/fear-of-public-speaking-statistics), making glossophobia more common than fear of death itself. That queasy feeling before a Zoom presentation, the racing heart before a wedding toast, the mind blank when introducing yourself at a networking event – it’s nearly universal.

## The Actor’s Secret That Changed Everything

Kelakos spent two decades honing her craft as an actor before realising her biggest discovery wasn’t happening on stage – it was in helping people [find their own authentic voice](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/spark-it-book-seven-small-moves-make-difficult-conversations-easier-dr-robert-radi). She wasn’t teaching corporate presentation skills or polished performance techniques. Instead, she found herself helping people navigate the same raw, human fears she’d wrestled with herself.

‘Many people believe that charisma is embodied only by super-confident extroverts and exhibited in a larger-than-life way, but I believe charisma is in all of us, a part of us from the get-go,’ says Kelakos, whose latest book Charismatic Presence: 5 Principles For Magnetic Presentations explores how anyone can tap into their natural magnetism.

Her perspective runs counter to everything we’re taught about confidence and speaking. [Most people assume charismatic speakers](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/5-essential-public-speaking-tips-from-a-seasoned-broadcaster) are born that way, that they never feel nervous, that their assurance comes naturally. But Kelakos discovered something different through her years of coaching: the most compelling speakers aren’t those who’ve eliminated their nerves – they’re the ones who’ve learned to work with them.

## Why We’re All Terrified (And Why That’s Normal)

The fear of public speaking taps into something primal. [As Kelakos explains](https://www.wemu.org/show/creative-impact/2023-04-25/creative-impact-the-speaker-whisperer-eleni-kelakos), this anxiety connects back to our ancestral need for tribal acceptance – exclusion from the group once meant danger. When we stand before others, some ancient part of our brain still worries about being cast out.

Kelakos has learned from working with hundreds of clients that those nerves and self-doubts aren’t character flaws to overcome. They’re signals that you care deeply about connecting with others. The person who feels nothing before speaking might deliver a technically perfect presentation that leaves everyone cold. The person whose hands shake with care and intention? That’s someone who can truly move people.

[Research in psychology journals](https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00488/full) confirms what Kelakos has observed: fear of public speaking affects 21-33% of people in severe ways, but it’s also highly treatable. More importantly, [the solutions aren’t about becoming a different person](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/the-paradox-of-fear-an-unexpected-pathway-to-success) – they’re about becoming more fully yourself.

## Five Ways to Work with Your Nerves

Kelakos has distilled her approach into five principles that work whether you’re facing a boardroom, a Zoom call or just need to speak up at your child’s school meeting. These aren’t performance tricks – they’re ways of working with your natural humanity.

### Know Thyself

This isn’t about endless self-analysis. It’s about honest recognition of both your gifts and your blocks. Maybe you’re brilliant at explaining complex ideas but terrible at small talk. Maybe you light up when discussing your passion project but freeze when talking about yourself. [Understanding these patterns](https://theelenigroup.com/about/our-team/) is the first step to working with them rather than against them.

### Be Thyself

The counter-intuitive truth: your vulnerability might be your superpower. When you try to project an image of flawless confidence, audiences sense the artifice. When you acknowledge your nerves – even briefly – people lean in. They recognise something real, something human they can connect with.

### Prepare Thyself

Preparation isn’t just about knowing your material. It’s about preparing your physical presence, your voice and your energy. [Harvard research suggests](https://professional.dce.harvard.edu/blog/10-tips-for-improving-your-public-speaking-skills/) that thorough preparation is one of the most effective ways to channel nervous energy into focused performance energy.

### Commit Thyself

This means staying present even when everything feels uncertain. It’s the difference between being hijacked by your nerves and acknowledging them while staying focused on your intention – what you’re actually there to share or accomplish.

### Turn Thyself On

Not in the way you might think. This is about engaging your genuine enthusiasm for your topic, your care for your audience, your excitement about the ideas you’re sharing. When you’re truly engaged with your purpose, that energy becomes contagious.

## Beyond the Boardroom

Kelakos’s previous bestseller, Claim The Stage: A Woman’s Guide to Speaking Up, Standing Out And Taking Leadership, recognised something important: many women have been conditioned to make themselves smaller, to soften their voices, to apologise for taking up space. [Her work goes well beyond presentation skills](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/the-corner-office-mindset-what-ceo-women-want-to-make-it-in-a-man-s-world) – it’s about reclaiming the right to be heard.

This matters in everyday moments too. The woman who finds [her voice](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/self-confidence-what-every-woman-needs-to-know-about-speaking-up) in the boardroom often discovers she can also speak up when her order is wrong at a restaurant. The person who learns to command attention during a presentation might finally feel confident introducing themselves at social gatherings. [Research shows](https://powerfulwomen.org.uk/2024/01/30/how-to-boost-confidence-in-public-speaking-strategies-and-tips/) that building speaking confidence creates ripple effects throughout life.

## Making Every Moment Count

Kelakos emphasises that effective communication isn’t about you – it’s about your audience. Before any speaking situation, she recommends asking three crucial questions: Who exactly is listening? What do they really need to hear right now? Why are you the right person to share this with them?

Focusing on your audience rather than your own performance can change the entire experience. [Suddenly, those butterflies become energy](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/speak-with-purpose-how-female-leaders-make-every-word-count) directed toward helping others rather than self-protection.

‘An ongoing commitment to honing presentation and speaking skills is required,’ Kelakos notes. It’s not a one-time fix but a lifelong practice. ‘Keeping the flame of your charismatic presence lit and your skillsets as a presenter growing is essentially a lifelong endeavour.’

## The Beautiful, Messy Middle

Perhaps most importantly, Kelakos normalises what she calls ‘the murky middle’ – that uncomfortable space between where you are and where you want to be. [Therapeutic approaches](https://counseling.uiowa.edu/news/2015/09/30-ways-manage-speaking-anxiety) to speaking anxiety confirm this: complete elimination of nerves isn’t the goal, and it probably isn’t desirable either.

The goal is learning to be magnificently, authentically human while sharing what matters to you. [Sometimes your voice will shake](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/why-authentic-storytelling-is-transforming-professional-speaking). Sometimes you’ll lose your train of thought. Sometimes the thing that makes you different – your accent, your passion, your unusual way of seeing things – will be exactly what someone in the audience needed to hear.

Even seasoned performers stumble. Even people who’ve written books about charisma sometimes fumble their words. The magic happens not despite these moments, but because of how we handle them – with grace, humour and the recognition that perfection was never the point. Connection was always the point.

Your nerves don’t disqualify you from having something important to say. They might just be the reminder you need that [what you’re sharing truly matters](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/self-confidence-what-every-woman-needs-to-know-about-speaking-up) – to you, and potentially to everyone listening.