--- title: Gisèle Pelicot Refused to Let Shame Be Hers to Carry description: At 73, Gisèle Pelicot has published her first full account of surviving abuse, waiving anonymity and choosing to believe in love anyway. author: Dr Marina Nani (Editor-in-Chief) date: 2026-02-17T09:58:06.000Z updated: 2026-06-29T08:43:14.058Z canonical: https://richwoman.co/article/gisele-pelicot-refused-to-let-shame-be-hers-to-carry image: https://cdn.nanimediahouse.com/9781847928962-jacket-large.webp categories: Memoir & Biography content_type: Profile region: France publication: Rich Books --- ## A Hymn to Life **The extraordinarily powerful memoir by a heroine of our times, whose story inspires change, compassion and courage.** One November day, Gisèle Pelicot was called to a local police station and life as she knew it ended. Her husband of fifty years had been caught by a supermarket guard filming up women’s skirts. But on his computer was shattering evidence: for nearly a decade, he had been secretly drugging and raping her and inviting dozens of strangers into their home to abuse her. Four years later, he and fifty other men were put on trial and Gisèle’s courage in waiving her right to anonymity made global headlines. ‘Shame must change sides,’ she declared, giving voice and hope to millions. Her words became a rallying cry and her decision marked a turning point in public feeling about sexual violence. ### Book: A Hymn to Life By Gisèle Pelicot The extraordinarily powerful memoir by a heroine of our times, whose story inspires change, compassion and courage. One November day, Gisèle Pelicot was called to a local police station and life as she knew it ended. Her husband of fifty years had been caught by a supermarket guard filming up women’s skirts. But on his computer was shattering evidence: for nearly a decade, he had been secretly drugging and raping her and inviting dozens of strangers into their home to abuse her. Four years later, he and fifty other men were put on trial and Gisèle’s courage in waiving her right to anonymity made global headlines. ‘Shame must change sides,’ she declared, giving voice and hope to millions. Her words became a rallying cry and her decision marked a turning point in public feeling about sexual violence. [Amazon](https://amzn.to/4rfsIgK) Gisèle Pelicot could have stayed invisible. Under French law, she had every right to anonymity during the trial of her ex-husband, a man who spent a decade drugging her and inviting strangers into their home to assault her while she was unconscious. A closed courtroom, sealed records, her name kept out of the papers. Nobody would have questioned it. Instead, at 71, she walked into an open court in Avignon and sat down where the whole world could see her. ‘Shame must change sides,’ she said. It became one of the most recognisable phrases of 2024. ## The discovery that changed everything In November 2020, police investigating Dominique Pelicot for secretly filming women in a supermarket found something far worse on his devices. Thousands of photographs and videos documented years of abuse, carried out while Gisèle was sedated in her own bed. The man she’d been married to for nearly 50 years had been recruiting men online. More than 50 were eventually convicted. ‘This woman’s cheek was so flaccid, her mouth was so soft,’ Gisèle later wrote, describing the moment she saw those images for the first time. ‘She was a rag doll.’ It is one of the most devastating lines in her memoir, and one of the quietest. ## She opened the courtroom doors on purpose The trial in 2024 lasted seven weeks. Gisèle didn’t just attend. She chose to make the whole thing public. Had she opted for a closed trial, she would have been alone in the room with her abusers. By opening the doors, she put them in the spotlight instead. Outside the courthouse, crowds gathered in support. ‘This crowd was fed up with oblivion,’ she wrote. ‘This crowd saved me.’ Dominique Pelicot received the maximum sentence of 20 years. Every one of the other men was convicted. It was a moment that echoed what so many women have been saying for years (that [breaking the taboo](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/from-silence-to-strength-women-breaking-the-taboo-around-sexual-assault) is not just brave, it is necessary). ## Not rage, not silence, but something harder What stays with you about Gisèle Pelicot is not the anger you might expect. It’s the absence of it. At 73, she describes herself simply as ‘an optimist’. She has said she still believes in love, still believes in people. ‘I know my story has fuelled disgust for men,’ she told interviewers, ‘but it has not done that for me. [I still have faith in people](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/melinda-french-gates-is-still-learning-what-comes-next).’ For someone who went through what she did, that isn’t naivety. It’s a choice, and a brave one. ## Her memoir is an act of living, not looking back *A Hymn to Life: Shame Has to Change Sides*, published today in 22 languages, is Gisèle’s first full account of what happened. Written with French journalist Judith Perrignon, it traces her childhood, her career, her years as a mother and the decade she didn’t know about. It is not a legal document or a victim statement. It is, as the title suggests, about life. The New York Times, NPR and TIME have all named it one of the most anticipated books of the year. In a moment when [reading about other people’s lives](https://richbooksmagazine.com/article/why-we-can-t-stop-reading-about-other-people-s-lives) has never felt more necessary, Gisèle’s story stands out because she isn’t asking for sympathy. She’s offering something far more unsettling: proof that hope survives the worst of us. ## What she left behind and what she kept Gisèle Pelicot lost a marriage, a version of her past and any illusion of safety in her own home. What she kept (and this is the part that catches in your throat) was her capacity for hope. She has spoken about finding love again. She has spoken about being happy. There’s a line in the book where she says, ‘I’ve always believed in happiness. If there isn’t love, I can’t see why we would be here on Earth.’ Coming from anyone else, it might sound like a greeting card. Coming from her, it lands differently. ## In case you were wondering… **Q: Can writing a memoir help someone heal from trauma?** Research suggests it can, but it’s not straightforward. Psychologist James Pennebaker found that expressive writing can reduce stress and help people organise painful experiences into something that makes sense. For many survivors, the act of shaping scattered memories into a story gives them back a feeling of control. That said, timing matters. Experts recommend that someone writing about trauma should have already done enough healing to revisit those memories without being overwhelmed by them. It’s a theme explored well in this piece on the healing powers of writing. **Q: Why do some survivors choose to waive their anonymity?** There’s no single reason. For some, it’s about accountability (making sure the public sees who did what). For others, it’s about connection, letting other survivors know they aren’t alone. Some say it’s about freedom. One of the things that keeps shame in place is silence, and going public can feel like breaking out of a cage you didn’t build. But it comes at a cost. It’s emotionally exhausting, and the attention doesn’t last, which can leave survivors feeling exposed once the headlines move on. **Q: How does speaking publicly about assault affect other survivors?** When someone like Gisèle Pelicot speaks out, it shifts the conversation. Her phrase ‘shame must change sides’ didn’t just describe her own experience. It gave other people words for something they’d been feeling but hadn’t been able to say. Research on disclosure shows that seeing a public figure speak openly about assault can make other survivors more likely to seek support. It doesn’t fix anything on its own, but it opens a door that was previously shut.